Underage drivers
I have this recurring dream that I am in the passenger seat of a car being driven by one of my children. It's usually Clyde. There is lots of traffic around us, and it's moving fairly quickly. Slowly I begin to panic. Frantically searching for a place to pull over and switch places, we pick up speed and head dangerously close to the freeway onramp. We never crash, but I never seem to get into the driver's seat. In another recurring dream, I am in the passenger seat of the car and the driver's seat is empty. From the passenger's seat, I am trying desperately to steer the car and reach the brake with my left leg. This dream usually involves a watchful cop, prompting me to "act natural" and drive my best so he doesn't pull me over and discover I'm not really in the driver's seat. Now, these two dreams have been coming pretty regularly for the last few years. Only recently did I have the sudden ton-of-bricks epiphany that these dreams mean I am not in the driver's seat. How obvious is that? All I had to do was say that little sentence while describing my dream and I realized that it's a very literal metaphor. Anyway, that's my recent insight into my psyche. Moving on.
My family out in Iowa might remember that I have issues with birds stemming back to an incident with a rabid, red-eyed swan that was seven feet tall if he was an inch. That vicious thing chased me to the car, then sat outside the door staring at me through the window. Evil, nasty things they are. Lately I seem to be thinking a lot about birds. We have some beautiful birds in this area; bright blue ones, quail families, magpies, sparrows and a whole slew of doves. Wait-- maybe that should be a flock of doves. Whatever-- the point is that I have been trying to encourage some family bird watching by setting up a bird feeder on our back patio. From time to time, a bird would come close to the feeder, but they all inevitably flew away without eating. Disappointing. Well, I have learned all the birdseed in the world can't hold a candle to a handful of coconut fiber lining a window box planter. I hung this stupid planter on the ledge of the patio, filled it with potting soil and planted an herb garden with seeds. While waiting for the seeds to sprout, I discovered that it was a major attraction for the neighborhood birds. My first theory was that they were after the seeds. I shooed them away constantly, wondering what was so fabulous about some tiny basil seeds, until one of them was bold enough to come steal from me right under my nose. Standing at the kitchen sink, I have a straight view of the planter through my kitchen window. As I stared vacantly into space (something I do too often these days), a brilliant blue bird landed on the planter and cocked his head. I must've been very still, because he went about his business as if I wasn't even there. This thieving little bird started picking at the coconut fiber liner in the planter with his sharp black beak, pulling out a mouthful of fibers and then flying off with them. Despite my constant guard over the planter, the liner went from being a tightly packed sheet to a ratty frayed mess thanks to the birds I'd tried so hard to attract. I gave up on the seeds and purchased herb plants for the planter after a few weeks. Our post-Easter blizzard had blanketed the planter in a foot of snow for several days and I was pretty sure the seeds were a lost cause after that. With healthy green plants in the way, the birds stopped messing with the liner. I don't know if it was the plants themselves, or if the birds just finished their darned nest and didn't need any more material from me. Oh-- one last thought about birds-- I discovered that the bird call I heard a million times as a child visiting my Grandparents in Sacramento was a dove cooing. I knew that doves "cooed" but I never matched the sound to the bird until I saw one puff up his chest on my patio and sing right in front of me. I hear it all the time around here and it reminds me of my favorite place on earth; 5259 Woodvale Way. Man, I miss that house!
For some reason, Jack has become obsessed with climbing onto Eric's back and saying "Giddyup", like he's getting a horseback ride from the poor kid. I must've said "Don't sit on your brother!" at least a dozen times in the last week. Eric just loves him, though. My Dad used to tell me stories about all the trouble he and his younger brother used to get into when they were kids. They were hilarious! Those boys were always into something together, and the stories would always make me laugh. Well, now I look at Jack & Eric and those stories start to creep back up in my mind. There not all that amusing anymore. I have this strange feeling that those two are going to put me through all kinds of hell over the next few years. They both have that devilish little grin that says they're up to something. For those of you keeping track, Jack only outweighs Eric by about four pounds right now. He's a runt, I tell you!
Man, there's so much I want to write, but I rambled on about the dang birds for so long that it's almost midnight and my brain is starting to shut down. Here are some little snippets of stories that I may or may not get a chance to elaborate on in the future:
Took the kids (all four of them) to see "The Sound of Music" in Downtown Salt Lake City without Ron's help. It was a risk. Lights went down, orchestra started up, Eric freaked out. I spent the first ten minutes of the play trying to calm him down. After that, he slept through the entire first act. Clyde and Heidi were mesmerized. Jack was thrilled to death about it when there was singing going on, but got a little antsy between songs. Amazingly, the four of them made it through the whole three hour play without any major incidents. I was really impressed with them. Even more impressive was the performance itself. It was absolutely incredible! Clyde was singing "Do, a deer, a female deer..." for days afterward.
Ron and I rearranged the entire house over the last two weekends and it was quite an endeavor. The new layout is much better. I now have a weight room upstairs, and the kids have a lot more space downstairs. The whole thing has been very empowering. I feel much more in control of my home now. It's a good feeling.
Still lifting heavy and eating right! This has to be some kind of record for me. I've achieved two of my major goals recently-- totally obvious muscle cleavage in my chest (I have big pectorals!), and completely unassisted pull-ups from a dead hang without kicking. How cool is that?!
My children are awesome. Heidi is so beautiful, Clyde is so smart, Jack is so funny, and Eric is so cute. Family game night is still in effect around here. We play Uno, Skip-Bo, Monopoly and (most recently) Clue. The kids are really into it and it beats the hell out of watching TV. Oh, Clyde & Heidi started karate tonight. They loved it and are excited about their next class. Jack is riding his scooter all over the place now, and Eric is starting to walk holding on to furniture.
Digital camera made it finally, but all the stuff (chargers, etc.) that came with it were foreign and wouldn't work in American outlets. We were pretty mad. We took it back and ordered a really cool Fuji Fine Pix camera that takes still photos and video clips, but it isn't here yet. I'm getting irritated with this whole thing. There's so much going on right now with the end of the school year and I'm missing out on a lot of good pictures!
Ron is either making a run for "husband of the year", or dying of something but not telling me. He searched all over the place for oriental lilies (my favorite flowers) for Mother's Day, and finally settled on some Peruvian lilies during a last effort midnight trip after I went to bed. I woke up Monday morning to a giant bouquet of blush colored flowers waiting for me in the kitchen. I'd even let him off the hook, telling him I'd had a wonderful day and didn't need flowers. The kids had made special things for me at school and I had spent the whole day with them. He's been more talkative and full of smiles lately. I love him so much! I look forward to the weekend all week long, just because I'll get to spend so much time with him. I'd be fast asleep right now if I didn't want to see him-- even just for a minute-- before I go to bed. Well, I'd better quit rhapsodizing about him. His ears will start burning and he'll know I've been talking about him, so he'll go and do something spiteful so that I don't get complacent about things. Just thinking about it makes me smile. "My snarky sense is tingling!"
Jack just wandered in, bleary eyed and wobbly. I've got to get him back to bed.
My family out in Iowa might remember that I have issues with birds stemming back to an incident with a rabid, red-eyed swan that was seven feet tall if he was an inch. That vicious thing chased me to the car, then sat outside the door staring at me through the window. Evil, nasty things they are. Lately I seem to be thinking a lot about birds. We have some beautiful birds in this area; bright blue ones, quail families, magpies, sparrows and a whole slew of doves. Wait-- maybe that should be a flock of doves. Whatever-- the point is that I have been trying to encourage some family bird watching by setting up a bird feeder on our back patio. From time to time, a bird would come close to the feeder, but they all inevitably flew away without eating. Disappointing. Well, I have learned all the birdseed in the world can't hold a candle to a handful of coconut fiber lining a window box planter. I hung this stupid planter on the ledge of the patio, filled it with potting soil and planted an herb garden with seeds. While waiting for the seeds to sprout, I discovered that it was a major attraction for the neighborhood birds. My first theory was that they were after the seeds. I shooed them away constantly, wondering what was so fabulous about some tiny basil seeds, until one of them was bold enough to come steal from me right under my nose. Standing at the kitchen sink, I have a straight view of the planter through my kitchen window. As I stared vacantly into space (something I do too often these days), a brilliant blue bird landed on the planter and cocked his head. I must've been very still, because he went about his business as if I wasn't even there. This thieving little bird started picking at the coconut fiber liner in the planter with his sharp black beak, pulling out a mouthful of fibers and then flying off with them. Despite my constant guard over the planter, the liner went from being a tightly packed sheet to a ratty frayed mess thanks to the birds I'd tried so hard to attract. I gave up on the seeds and purchased herb plants for the planter after a few weeks. Our post-Easter blizzard had blanketed the planter in a foot of snow for several days and I was pretty sure the seeds were a lost cause after that. With healthy green plants in the way, the birds stopped messing with the liner. I don't know if it was the plants themselves, or if the birds just finished their darned nest and didn't need any more material from me. Oh-- one last thought about birds-- I discovered that the bird call I heard a million times as a child visiting my Grandparents in Sacramento was a dove cooing. I knew that doves "cooed" but I never matched the sound to the bird until I saw one puff up his chest on my patio and sing right in front of me. I hear it all the time around here and it reminds me of my favorite place on earth; 5259 Woodvale Way. Man, I miss that house!
For some reason, Jack has become obsessed with climbing onto Eric's back and saying "Giddyup", like he's getting a horseback ride from the poor kid. I must've said "Don't sit on your brother!" at least a dozen times in the last week. Eric just loves him, though. My Dad used to tell me stories about all the trouble he and his younger brother used to get into when they were kids. They were hilarious! Those boys were always into something together, and the stories would always make me laugh. Well, now I look at Jack & Eric and those stories start to creep back up in my mind. There not all that amusing anymore. I have this strange feeling that those two are going to put me through all kinds of hell over the next few years. They both have that devilish little grin that says they're up to something. For those of you keeping track, Jack only outweighs Eric by about four pounds right now. He's a runt, I tell you!
Man, there's so much I want to write, but I rambled on about the dang birds for so long that it's almost midnight and my brain is starting to shut down. Here are some little snippets of stories that I may or may not get a chance to elaborate on in the future:
Took the kids (all four of them) to see "The Sound of Music" in Downtown Salt Lake City without Ron's help. It was a risk. Lights went down, orchestra started up, Eric freaked out. I spent the first ten minutes of the play trying to calm him down. After that, he slept through the entire first act. Clyde and Heidi were mesmerized. Jack was thrilled to death about it when there was singing going on, but got a little antsy between songs. Amazingly, the four of them made it through the whole three hour play without any major incidents. I was really impressed with them. Even more impressive was the performance itself. It was absolutely incredible! Clyde was singing "Do, a deer, a female deer..." for days afterward.
Ron and I rearranged the entire house over the last two weekends and it was quite an endeavor. The new layout is much better. I now have a weight room upstairs, and the kids have a lot more space downstairs. The whole thing has been very empowering. I feel much more in control of my home now. It's a good feeling.
Still lifting heavy and eating right! This has to be some kind of record for me. I've achieved two of my major goals recently-- totally obvious muscle cleavage in my chest (I have big pectorals!), and completely unassisted pull-ups from a dead hang without kicking. How cool is that?!
My children are awesome. Heidi is so beautiful, Clyde is so smart, Jack is so funny, and Eric is so cute. Family game night is still in effect around here. We play Uno, Skip-Bo, Monopoly and (most recently) Clue. The kids are really into it and it beats the hell out of watching TV. Oh, Clyde & Heidi started karate tonight. They loved it and are excited about their next class. Jack is riding his scooter all over the place now, and Eric is starting to walk holding on to furniture.
Digital camera made it finally, but all the stuff (chargers, etc.) that came with it were foreign and wouldn't work in American outlets. We were pretty mad. We took it back and ordered a really cool Fuji Fine Pix camera that takes still photos and video clips, but it isn't here yet. I'm getting irritated with this whole thing. There's so much going on right now with the end of the school year and I'm missing out on a lot of good pictures!
Ron is either making a run for "husband of the year", or dying of something but not telling me. He searched all over the place for oriental lilies (my favorite flowers) for Mother's Day, and finally settled on some Peruvian lilies during a last effort midnight trip after I went to bed. I woke up Monday morning to a giant bouquet of blush colored flowers waiting for me in the kitchen. I'd even let him off the hook, telling him I'd had a wonderful day and didn't need flowers. The kids had made special things for me at school and I had spent the whole day with them. He's been more talkative and full of smiles lately. I love him so much! I look forward to the weekend all week long, just because I'll get to spend so much time with him. I'd be fast asleep right now if I didn't want to see him-- even just for a minute-- before I go to bed. Well, I'd better quit rhapsodizing about him. His ears will start burning and he'll know I've been talking about him, so he'll go and do something spiteful so that I don't get complacent about things. Just thinking about it makes me smile. "My snarky sense is tingling!"
Jack just wandered in, bleary eyed and wobbly. I've got to get him back to bed.
posted by Caitlin Whitaker at 12:17 PM
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